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Posts Tagged ‘work-life balance’

Change Ahead: Apply Within

Tuesday, May 10th, 2011

Today marks a new start for me. It is the day that I officially announced to the world that I am pursuing new a direction in my work life. That The Enterprising Moms and Apply Within, two businesses I started while growing my young family will no longer be my primary work focus … that I will be exploring work options outside of my home, likely in a traditional work setting.

It is not a decision I have come to quickly or lightly. It is one that evolved out of shifts and changes in my home life creating a need and want for something that will better my needs and those of my family. The process has been underway for some time, though I was not fully conscious of it early on. Even when the need for change began to come into sharp focus, I was not quite ready to acknowledge it. In fact, I was down right resistant and mournful about it.

I have spent years creating a work life and communities of support around my identity as an Enterprising Mom. In the beginning it took me a while even to think of myself as an Enterprising Mom. I would call myself a business owner, self-employed, a freelancer or any number of other things to avoid that word “entrepreneur.” It felt so much larger than me, like shoes 5 times too big. Overtime I came to embrace the idea of being an entrepreneurial and Enterprising Mom and I know that no matter what line of work I choose, that part of me will live on, though it will be expressed in different ways.

There are lots of factors that have led me to this place, many of which I will likely explore here and process through my writing. And, to be sure, it us not all bad. In fact, there is a lot that is good about it. I am getting excited about this change and the liberation that will come. Although I am thoroughly conflicted about the impact this change may have on the amount and quality of time I will have with my kids, I know that I am a creative and resourceful person and will use those skills to create a work life that is a good “fit” for me, my family, my home and my work.

And this brings me to the new name of this blog, “Mama is Having a Fit! “It is about my journey to find just the right work-life fit and what I learn along the way. My hope is that this exploration will not result in too many “fits” or tantrums. But since there is learning in all things, a fit or two may be a part of the process as I work to find just the right Fit.

Carolyn

Mama is Having a Fit! / Apply Within Work-Life Hub

One of Those Days

Thursday, May 5th, 2011

woman holding clockYesterday was one of those jam-packed days. It started with a 9 a.m. appointment in DC, which meant an early start leaving the house to drop the husband off at the Metro, kids 1 and 2 off at elementary school and kid 3 at pre-school on the far end of town. I spent an hour and 45 minutes transporting and crawling in traffic before arriving at my destination.

By 10:30 a.m. I was back at home, plugging away at work before I blinked and suddenly, it was 1:45 p.m. … time to suit-up for my oldest’s practice 5K with her Girls on the Run group. Since I am her buddy runner for the real 5K coming up on the 15th and I haven’t run a block since the last one in December, I thought I might see if my legs still work. Although I spent most of the time cheering the girls on and showering them with colored hair spray each time they completed three laps, I did squeak in three laps of own with my daughter at the end of her race. She told her friends she was training me for the big race!

From there it was on to a springtime celebration at my son’s school with a looming threat of rain that, thankfully, never fully materialized. We arrived a 4:30 p.m., a half hour earlier than expected so we had some welcome breathing room. After helping with set up, we enjoyed the light foods and festivities as I photographed the event on behalf of the school. Suddenly it was 6:45 p.m. and time to move on.

Although it was an hour passed our regular dinner time, since the kids had been munching on egg salad, hummus, bread and strawberries, I didn’t feel too guilty about stopping at McDonald’s on the way home for a few nuggets to “fill the crevice,” as my dad used to say. It had been a long day for all of us and it wasn’t over yet … we all deserved a little treat.

As we chugged through the line at the drive through, I phoned my husband with a quick status update. We were picking up food and heading home. But, since I needed to be at a Daisie meeting for daughter number 2 at 7:30 p.m., I would only have time to drop the kids off before heading back out. We did a run down of what needed to be done once we arrived. The kids needed to eat, do homework, take showers and get the hair spray paint out before heading down to bed. The would certainly not make their usual 7:30 bedtime, but when their heads did hit the pillow, I   they’d fall right to sleep.

I didn’t even get out of the car when we pulled in to the driveway. Dad came out and brought the kids and related gear in and I headed off to the Daisie meeting. While I expected the meeting to last about an hour, once we churned through the agenda, the conversation got juicy. And, although I felt time slipping away, I found myself compelled to stay. It’s not very often that I get to hang out with a group of women with no kids tugging, pleading, whining or shouting for attention. For the next two hours, we enjoyed real life adult conversation. More about that soon.

When I got into my car to leave, I was shocked to see that it was a little after 10:30 p.m.! I had survived one of “those” days. The kinds of days we all have, some more often than others. The days were we are pulled in so many different directions, spend hours in the car traveling to and fro and transporting various people along the way. Days when we go from one thing to the next and forget to eat because we haven’t been still long enough to realize we are even hungry.

It was such a sweet treat that my day ended in the company of fellow moms, several of whom probably had days just like mine.

Four-Day Work Week?

Sunday, June 8th, 2008

Last week the Today Show featured a story on how some companies are reconsidering the traditional five-day work week in favor of four days in the office — either four longer days with one day off or five regular days with one of them being a telecommuting day.

While I would love to think that organizations have finally seen the light on the whole work-life balance / work-life integration conundrum that most working parents face, and lots of non-parents as well, this is not the case. The impetus is the rising cost of fuel. According to the piece, many employers are now feeling the pinch in the wallet themselves and are considering alternative work arrangements to create a favorable situation for employees and employers alike.

While some organizations have had such flexible work policies in place for some time, the piece reports that the programs are becoming even more popular in face of the economic crunch.

Whatever the cause, my hope is that the experience will be positive for organizations and employees alike; that all will see the benefits as relates to the wallet and the pump, and also in productivity, workplace satisfaction, employee retention, the environment, and other areas as well.

While it’s disappointing that the countless ongoing efforts of so many to create this shift in support of the challenges faced by working families was not the main motivator, I do hope this shift will be incorporated into the work landscape on a broader scale as a permanent alternative.

What’s your organization’s policy on flexible scheduling and/or alternative work arrangements?

As Seen in The Washington Post

Tuesday, March 25th, 2008

Did you happen to see the main cover story in the Business Section of The Washington Post on Saturday, March 22? If not, take a look …

The story, “Career or Family? Yes.” explored the challenges faced by many working moms who struggle with work-life balance issues and highlighted several local firms, coaches and consultants that address these issues. Many assist moms in finding part-time and flexible work arrangements.

I am quite excited and honored to have been included in the story. If you’re a working parent seeking more a fulfilling and better balanced life, contact me to learn how I can help.

Living In Choice: Slowing Down

Monday, March 24th, 2008

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I saw the concept of choice play out through the eyes of a toddler — Loosh, my 17-month-old son. Watching him figure out how to have all that he had stuffed into his hands and still grab something new that he wanted even more, was watching conscious choice in action.

When I found myself sick last week with my second cold in the past few weeks, I knew I had some choices to make, so I looked to Loosh as my example. Even though I wasn’t flat-out, shriveled-up-in-bed sick, I wanted to take some steps to avoid getting there.

For weeks my days and nights have been really full. I’ve been engaged in some really fun and interesting work and classes and have been making progress on some really big projects. And, new opportunities have been coming my way. But, I realized that in order to get healthy and do more, I had to let go of some things.

I started by looking at my calendar to see what could be rescheduled, post-poned or canceled. Last week I canceled two meetings and rescheduled an all-day class so that I could slow the pace a bit. I put off grocery shopping until the weekend, when family would be in town. I’d be able to use that shopping time to focus on my projects and go grocery shopping while the kids were engaged with Dad and Granddad. And, rather than stressing about when we were going to clean up the house before family arrived on Friday, I arranged to have the house cleaned.

The wonderful thing about living in choice, is that it’s empowering. With each choice I made about how to spend my time, I felt more energized about making the next choice, and the next. Because I was no longer stressed about how to fit it all in before the weekend while feeling under the weather, I was able to slow down, figure out where my attention was most needed, and focus my energy there. It was a reminder of how all of the stuff that I need to do, and need to do immediately, really doesn’t have to be done by me specifically, and it doesn’t have to be done today, this week, or maybe ever.

My cold is almost completely gone, and so is the pressure of doing it all, myself, today!

Work-life balance is not something to be achieved. It changes as life changes. What’s working today may or may not work next week. Staying flexible, adaptable and creative about how you address work-life challenges is key, as is living in choice!

Have you had to reevaluate and make some tough choices recently? How did you handle it? What was the impact?

Parenting: Conscious Discipline®

Sunday, March 9th, 2008

Tonight I attended the fifth in a series of eight workshops based on Dr. Becky Bailey’s Conscious Discipline® approach, which is deeply routed in emotional intelligence principles. I was hooked from the very first session. So much, in fact, that I’ve been arranging a sitter for the kids so that my husband and I can both attend (though it didn’t quite work out tonight). Each session starts with a review of previous sessions, followed by a little song and dance. Yes, that’s right, 25 or so adults all sing and dance to a kid’s song who’s lyrics help facilitate eye-hand coordination, get the blood flowing and activate the higher centers of the brain. While I groan each time we get the cue to rise and participate, I must admit that I’m a little more present and engaged upon returning to my seat.

I’m a big reader, or at least I used to be before kids. Since having kids and becoming a business-owner mom, most of my reading has been parenting, coaching or business related. So, I’ve read lots of books about child development, discipline and the like. And, while I do have some favorites, including Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child, by John Gottman, I’m sure once I get my hands on Becky Bailey’s books, they’ll be high on the list.

The workshops offer a multi-dimensional approach to understanding how our minds, and those of our children, work and offer concrete examples of how adjusting our interactions and communication styles based on where we and our children are in our brains, we can completely shift the dynamics in a situation gone awry.

One of the things that I love most about Dr. Bailey’s approach is that it’s about a way of being with our children. The concepts she teaches encourage parents and teachers to move away from reacting to our children and to their reactions. She suggests that by forming connections through eye contact, touch, song, tone of voice, etc. and engaging with our children from this place, we’ll preemptively address some of the attention-seeking behavior, for instance, and see more positive results.

What I love about applying the principles is that they really do work. Sometimes it feels like a little brain-twisting (mine, not the kids’) is required, but what’s really powerful is that it’s not about a particular incident or interaction. By creating an environment of conscious discipline in your home, you create a way of being within your family. It’s this way of being that results in a more positive and constructive environment all around. The results in our home are pretty evident, with several undesirable behaviors virtually eliminated! Things are by no means perfect, but we all are developing and honing a arsenal of skills and tools that will empower us in Conscious Discipline.

If you’re not familiar with Dr. Baily or Conscious Discipline, take a look. And if you’re able to attend a workshop series based on the Conscious Discipline approach, sign up without hesitation!

Back in the Saddle

Friday, February 22nd, 2008

It’s been a while since I’ve posted — I’m glad to be back! I’ve been busy working on developing my other businesses and refining the focus of Apply Within. I’m really excited about my how my coaching business has evolved to working with those seeking better work-life integration and/or alternatives to the standard 9 – 5.

My web site will continue to evolve as things begin to take shape. In the meantime, I’m bringing this blog back to life to share progress as we go. I look forward to announcing new coaching options, packages and formats over the next couple of months. I’ll also share my own musing about this transition, Getting Things Done, moms in business, alternative work arrangements and more.

Stay tuned …