Tonight I attended the fifth in a series of eight workshops based on Dr. Becky Bailey’s Conscious Discipline^® approach, which is deeply routed in emotional intelligence principles. I was hooked from the very first session. So much, in fact, that I’ve been arranging a sitter for the kids so that my husband and I can both attend (though it didn’t quite work out tonight). Each session starts with a review of previous sessions, followed by a little song and dance. Yes, that’s right, 25 or so adults all sing and dance to a kid’s song who’s lyrics help facilitate eye-hand coordination, get the blood flowing and activate the higher centers of the brain. While I groan each time we get the cue to rise and participate, I must admit that I’m a little more present and engaged upon returning to my seat.

I’m a big reader, or at least I used to be before kids. Since having kids and becoming a business-owner mom, most of my reading has been parenting, coaching or business related. So, I’ve read lots of books about child development, discipline and the like. And, while I do have some favorites, including Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child, by John Gottman, I’m sure once I get my hands on Becky Bailey’s books, they’ll be high on the list.

The workshops offer a multi-dimensional approach to understanding how our minds, and those of our children, work and offer concrete examples of how adjusting our interactions and communication styles based on where we and our children are in our brains, we can completely shift the dynamics in a situation gone awry.

One of the things that I love most about Dr. Bailey’s approach is that it’s about a way of being with our children. The concepts she teaches encourage parents and teachers to move away from reacting to our children and to their reactions. She suggests that by forming connections through eye contact, touch, song, tone of voice, etc. and engaging with our children from this place, we’ll preemptively address some of the attention-seeking behavior, for instance, and see more positive results.

What I love about applying the principles is that they really do work. Sometimes it feels like a little brain-twisting (mine, not the kids’) is required, but what’s really powerful is that it’s not about a particular incident or interaction. By creating an environment of conscious discipline in your home, you create a way of being within your family. It’s this way of being that results in a more positive and constructive environment all around. The results in our home are pretty evident, with several undesirable behaviors virtually eliminated! Things are by no means perfect, but we all are developing and honing a arsenal of skills and tools that will empower us in Conscious Discipline.

If you’re not familiar with Dr. Baily or Conscious Discipline, take a look. And if you’re able to attend a workshop series based on the Conscious Discipline approach, sign up without hesitation!

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