Archive for the ‘Moms’ Category
Saturday, May 7th, 2011
A couple of days ago, I described “one of those days” where, in addition to the things on my own agenda, I had an event or meeting connected with each of my three kids to attend. So, a day that started with us leaving together at about 7:30 a.m. ended with me returning home to settle in for the night some time after 10:30 p.m.
The last event of the day was a parent’s meeting for my middle daughter’s Daisie troop. We needed to discuss the end of the year, how we would bridge into Brownies and what activities we wanted to plan for the year ahead. The two women leading the meeting were very organized with a clear agenda and structure so that our time was used wisely.
At some point along the way, however, as we plugged through the agenda, the meeting got a bit personal, in a really good way. It started with a request for those who had been girl scouts to share their thoughts about the most memorable activities they did as kids so that we might consider those activities for our group. This conversation grew into sharing about a wide scope of life experiences: discipline, peer relationships, childhood chatter, the “talk,” fashions of our youth, childbirth and more.
I typically work a bit in the evenings, so initially I was mindful of my time. At one point, when there seemed to be a shift, I readied my bag. But the conversation drew me back in. It felt good to be part of a community of women who were so open to sharing their stories, good and bad, and offer comfort and support when it came to the sticky stuff. As the meeting wound down we found ourselves saying that WE needed to have more Daisie meetings.
Over the past several weeks, I have been thinking a lot about my own support system, growing it and nurturing it, becoming a part of the support systems of others for whom I care, and developing new relationships based on who and where I am today. Several people expressed how fun it was to sit, talk and share and suggested that we do so again and I’m all for it. This Daisie meeting reinforced for me the value of peer relationships and how powerfully women can support and empower one another.
In a conversation a couple of weeks ago, I wondered whether it was possible to establish deep and meaningful relationships at this stage in life. Many people have friends that they have had since childhood, grade school or college. Others have shared their transition to motherhood and have developed deeply routed bonds. Others connect over work-life and career. This gathering reminded me that relationships come in all shapes, sizes and forms to fill all kinds of spaces in our lives. It’s what we do to develop those relationships that determines what will evolve, or not.
Carolyn
@ApplyWithin / @EnterprisingMom / @EcoActiveFamily
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Posted in Choice, Connecting, Moms, Women | No Comments »
Sunday, January 17th, 2010
In 2009 I wasn’t an active blogger in this space, though I’ve been active on my blog for The Enterprising Moms and elsewhere. The year 2009 was one that brought lots of opportunities and challenges in all areas of my life and certainly impacted how and where I spent my time. My coaching business and this blog were two places where I chose to step back a bit and embrace opportunities available to me through my other ventures and to become more actively involved with my childrens’ schools.
The Enterprising Moms, the organization I founded for women who are ‘growing businesses while growing families’ grew immensely over the past year and got lots of traction. Our membership grew greatly, much of it by word-of-mouth referrals. We began offering networking and educational programs and workshops and held our first holiday Biz-aar last year. So many new opportunities and so many firsts! A truly rewarding year!
At my son’s preschool, where I’m a part-time co-director, I was able to put skills from past work experience and that with The Enterprising Moms to work in new and creative ways. At times, especially when I realized that this work was taking up more time that I had anticipated, it was overwhelming. But, because doing this work and having an impact on this wonderful non-profit holistic pre-school was important to me, I analyzed my time and developed new ways structure things to make it workable.
One of my favorite words is evolution, ‘a process of continuous change from a lower, simpler, or worse to a higher, more complex, or better state.’
I think of my life, and everything and everyone in it as evolving and by doing so, I’ve learned to embrace the fact that what works today, tomorrow and this month, may not be what works six months from now. Committing to a path based on what I know today, does not mean I have to commit to that path forever. Change is part of the process of life. We can hold steadfast as the world, our circumstances, or children, etc. all change around us or we can accept and embrace change and integrate how we deal with change and transitions into the way we live our lives.
There is tremendous freedom in giving ones self permission to explore, be flexible, be creative and to adapt as life changes – to evolve. It’s through is way of thinking that I have greater sense of flow in my life and all of it’s dimensions. It’s this sense of flow that helps me to address that feeling of stuckness that sometimes shows up and it enables me to reconnect with my essence.
And it’s this sense of flow and the process of evolution that’s breathed new life and opportunities into Apply Within and this space. In 2010 I’m expanding my offerings to including consulting and coaching services. I’m excited to work with moms (and dads) in a new ways and meet them where they are and offer different approaches to helping them get to where they want to be. You can learn more about my offerings and approach on my web site. In the meantime, please subscribe to this blog, ‘Living in Choice‘ and to ‘The Enterprising Blog‘ for more insights and updates and ponder the following:
- Where do you get stuck?
- What gets you unstuck?
- How do you keep the flow in your life?
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Posted in Commitment, Family, Getting Things Done, Moms, Productivity, Time Management, Work / Life Integration | 2 Comments »
Thursday, January 7th, 2010
Know any dynamic women (18 or older) with a great life story from which others could learn? Please nominate them to tell their story at www.HotMommasProject.org.
Help spread the word about The Hot Mommas Project by encouraging women to share their stories and contribute to the education process for young women everywhere.
The Hot Mommas Project, the world’s largest library of teachable role models, is an award-winning venture housed at the George Washington University School of Business. The Hot Mommas Project takes the stories of the women and makes them teachable in a “case study” format, thus providing scalable, global access to role models and virtual mentors.
To encourage women around the world (18 and over) to nominate one another and write their stories at www.HotMommasProject.org, the project is holding its second annual case study competition through January 31, 2010.
Submissions take anywhere from two to three hours, and winners will be published in a leading Prentice Hall textbook. There is coaching available for story or “case” writers as it’s called in academic circles. While writing is a committment, it’s well worth it.
Learn more …
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Tags: Mentors, Role Models, The Hot Mommas Project
Posted in Life, Moms | 1 Comment »
Thursday, June 19th, 2008
Yesterday was the big day. The last day of kindergarten! Pee-ba was pretty excited from the start of the day — especially since I promised a special outing for just the two of us.
It started with a special hand-made card signed by mom, dad, JoJo (little sister) and Loosh (little brother) that was decorated with stickers galore. We slipped it into her lunch box for a special mid-morning surprise. Next we did a special hair-do with fancy trimmings. And then, just as on the first day of school, the whole family swept her off to meet the bus. I couldn’t resist taking a few pictures to mark the occasion.
Several hours later, she bound off the bus anticipating our outing, which she continually referred to as our ‘out,’ with the excitement of the five year old she is! Her first question was, “can we go to the pool?” But, since we weren’t quite ready for swimming season yet (didn’t have all of our gear), and it was a tad cool for me, we’d have to take a pass. After some initial disappointment, she recalled our planned ‘out’ and the excitement and anticipation returned.
We started with some shopping to find a new bathing suit for her and found success at our first store (along with a new smaller handbag for mom!). Next, it was off to Target for some noodles for the pool. I might as well have just invented chocolate, she was so happy. We topped our afternoon off with an ice cream, which she savored slowly as we sat at under the cool cover of an umbrella at a sidewalk table and enjoyed the scenery. We topped it off with her favorites for dinner and games with Dad and her siblings before trotting off to bed with her noodle.
The day was so fulfilling, especially the one-on-one time with Pee-ba — and it was clear that she appreciated it as well. As a working mom of three, creating that one-on-one time for each child can be a challenge, but the pay-off is so immediate and so rich. In the span of an afternoon, Pee-ba and I established a new set of rituals for celebrating the last day of school that’ll we’ll repeat next year and adapt as she grows. And, this will serve as inspiration for special school-time rituals with her younger siblings as they grow into the school system. These rituals enrich our time together and serve as inspiration for creating the space for even more one-on-one time with each of little one.
How do you make the most of one-on-one time with you child/ren? And what role do rituals play?
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Tags: Family, Kids, kindergarten, last day of school, one-on-one time, Parenting, rituals
Posted in Connecting, Family, Life, Moms, Parenting, Work / Life Integration | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, June 18th, 2008
Tomorrow’s a pretty big day for me and my oldest child, Pee-ba (as her little brother calls her). It’s her last day of Kindergarten. It’s hard to fathom that an entire school year has passed. She has grown immensely. Truly. She’s learned so much in what seems like such a short time … She carries on conversations that I just can’t imagine I was capable of having at her age.
From her first days of school, I felt her tether stretch as she sailed out into her new world and returned with new thoughts, ideas, experiences, things; and then she would sail out again and return with even more. She formed real friendships with people that aren’t connected with me or her dad. I’ve come to know them partially from the time spent in the classroom, but much of what I know about them shows up in Priya — in the new dance moves I see her showing her little sister, the songs she sings in the car while we’re driving, in the things she asks for when we’re at a store and the little gifts she brings home.
All year long she’s said how much she loves Kindergarten and wants to stay there forever, if only. How innocent! How sweet! And now, she says she’s ready for it to be over. She doesn’t anticipate missing much about school, aside from friends. I’ve come to realize in recent days that it’s more about what she’s looking forward to (summer fun) than wanting school to end.
In some ways, the feeling is reminiscent of weaning. I’ve watched her grow so tall, so articulate, so curious and confident. She doesn’t cling as tightly as she used to. She has original thoughts and ideas and is persistent about expressing them. She’s really growing up. And, it’s bittersweet. I know all of the things that are beautiful, powerful and empowering about it; and I also know where this path leads. But, instead of borrowing from the future and focusing on what someday will no longer be, I’ll celebrate this milestone in a special way.
Stay tuned …
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Tags: Family, Kids, Parenting, School
Posted in Connecting, Family, Life, Moms, Parenting, Work / Life Integration | No Comments »
Tuesday, March 25th, 2008
Did you happen to see the main cover story in the Business Section of The Washington Post on Saturday, March 22? If not, take a look …
The story, “Career or Family? Yes.” explored the challenges faced by many working moms who struggle with work-life balance issues and highlighted several local firms, coaches and consultants that address these issues. Many assist moms in finding part-time and flexible work arrangements.
I am quite excited and honored to have been included in the story. If you’re a working parent seeking more a fulfilling and better balanced life, contact me to learn how I can help.
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Tags: Washington Post, work-life balance, Working Moms
Posted in Alternative Work, Career, Moms, Work / Life Integration | 1 Comment »
Monday, March 24th, 2008
As I mentioned in an earlier post, I saw the concept of choice play out through the eyes of a toddler — Loosh, my 17-month-old son. Watching him figure out how to have all that he had stuffed into his hands and still grab something new that he wanted even more, was watching conscious choice in action.
When I found myself sick last week with my second cold in the past few weeks, I knew I had some choices to make, so I looked to Loosh as my example. Even though I wasn’t flat-out, shriveled-up-in-bed sick, I wanted to take some steps to avoid getting there.
For weeks my days and nights have been really full. I’ve been engaged in some really fun and interesting work and classes and have been making progress on some really big projects. And, new opportunities have been coming my way. But, I realized that in order to get healthy and do more, I had to let go of some things.
I started by looking at my calendar to see what could be rescheduled, post-poned or canceled. Last week I canceled two meetings and rescheduled an all-day class so that I could slow the pace a bit. I put off grocery shopping until the weekend, when family would be in town. I’d be able to use that shopping time to focus on my projects and go grocery shopping while the kids were engaged with Dad and Granddad. And, rather than stressing about when we were going to clean up the house before family arrived on Friday, I arranged to have the house cleaned.
The wonderful thing about living in choice, is that it’s empowering. With each choice I made about how to spend my time, I felt more energized about making the next choice, and the next. Because I was no longer stressed about how to fit it all in before the weekend while feeling under the weather, I was able to slow down, figure out where my attention was most needed, and focus my energy there. It was a reminder of how all of the stuff that I need to do, and need to do immediately, really doesn’t have to be done by me specifically, and it doesn’t have to be done today, this week, or maybe ever.
My cold is almost completely gone, and so is the pressure of doing it all, myself, today!
Work-life balance is not something to be achieved. It changes as life changes. What’s working today may or may not work next week. Staying flexible, adaptable and creative about how you address work-life challenges is key, as is living in choice!
Have you had to reevaluate and make some tough choices recently? How did you handle it? What was the impact?
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Tags: living in choice, Productivity, Time Management, work-life balance
Posted in Choice, Life, Moms, Productivity, Reflections, Time Management, Work / Life Integration | 1 Comment »
Friday, March 21st, 2008
As a business-owner mom with three little ones, time is precious. I’m constantly seeking ways to do routine things a little quicker and smarter so that I can spend my time where it really counts. I often find that tips and tricks that are effective in my work life translate to my home life with pleasing results.
One of the tips from Getting Things Done (which I’ve blogged about previously) that has really proven it’s worth to me recently is about ‘dating’ things. David Allen, the author, recommends putting a date on everything that goes into your in-box. I’ve taken it a step or two further and put a date on just about anything that I or someone else will need to refer back to. This includes notes from a meeting or conversation (pretty obvious, but I would often forget), brainstorming scribbles, to do lists, etc.
One place this has really come in handy is in the kitchen. I’ve started dating things like the package of lunch meat I just opened, the unfinished jar of pasta sauce, the bag of flour that’s still half full. I’ve added dates to the quick notes jotted on the white board, the shopping list on the bulletin board, and the bag slow-moving veggie chips in the pantry.
When I went to clean out the fridge this weekend, I spared myself the awful taste and smell tests I usually do to determine what’s still edible, or not. The whole process took a fraction of what it used to because I was quickly able to decide that the turkey meat from 2/29, had been hanging around for a little too long.
It seems like a really small thing, and it is — and that’s the point. When you add up all the small things, the amount of time and effort you save can be significant. Rather than trying to recall when something was bought, opened, or cooked and then determine whether or not it’s still good, I simply put a date on. By dating an item on the front end (when it goes in the fridge or pantry or on a list or white board), it doesn’t require extra time or thought later, when I need to decide if it stays or goes.
What’s a way that you take back your time from routine and repetitive tasks?
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Tags: business-owner mom, Getting Things Done, time saving tips
Posted in Family, Getting Things Done, Moms, Organization, Productivity, Time Management, Work / Life Integration | No Comments »
Sunday, March 9th, 2008
Tonight I attended the fifth in a series of eight workshops based on Dr. Becky Bailey’s Conscious Discipline® approach, which is deeply routed in emotional intelligence principles. I was hooked from the very first session. So much, in fact, that I’ve been arranging a sitter for the kids so that my husband and I can both attend (though it didn’t quite work out tonight). Each session starts with a review of previous sessions, followed by a little song and dance. Yes, that’s right, 25 or so adults all sing and dance to a kid’s song who’s lyrics help facilitate eye-hand coordination, get the blood flowing and activate the higher centers of the brain. While I groan each time we get the cue to rise and participate, I must admit that I’m a little more present and engaged upon returning to my seat.
I’m a big reader, or at least I used to be before kids. Since having kids and becoming a business-owner mom, most of my reading has been parenting, coaching or business related. So, I’ve read lots of books about child development, discipline and the like. And, while I do have some favorites, including Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child, by John Gottman, I’m sure once I get my hands on Becky Bailey’s books, they’ll be high on the list.
The workshops offer a multi-dimensional approach to understanding how our minds, and those of our children, work and offer concrete examples of how adjusting our interactions and communication styles based on where we and our children are in our brains, we can completely shift the dynamics in a situation gone awry.
One of the things that I love most about Dr. Bailey’s approach is that it’s about a way of being with our children. The concepts she teaches encourage parents and teachers to move away from reacting to our children and to their reactions. She suggests that by forming connections through eye contact, touch, song, tone of voice, etc. and engaging with our children from this place, we’ll preemptively address some of the attention-seeking behavior, for instance, and see more positive results.
What I love about applying the principles is that they really do work. Sometimes it feels like a little brain-twisting (mine, not the kids’) is required, but what’s really powerful is that it’s not about a particular incident or interaction. By creating an environment of conscious discipline in your home, you create a way of being within your family. It’s this way of being that results in a more positive and constructive environment all around. The results in our home are pretty evident, with several undesirable behaviors virtually eliminated! Things are by no means perfect, but we all are developing and honing a arsenal of skills and tools that will empower us in Conscious Discipline.
If you’re not familiar with Dr. Baily or Conscious Discipline, take a look. And if you’re able to attend a workshop series based on the Conscious Discipline approach, sign up without hesitation!
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Tags: becky bailey, conscious discipline, discipline, Parenting, work-life balance
Posted in Connecting, Family, Life, Moms, Parenting | No Comments »
Tuesday, February 26th, 2008
I happened to catch a segment on the Today show yesterday, Jobs for Stay-at-Home Moms, about alternative work arrangements — though it could apply to anyone, not just moms. Danielle Babb, author, professor and technologist offered an encouraging picture for moms who want to earn a living while at home with the kids.
She offers tips on getting started in teaching online, selling on e-bay, bookkeeping, and professional shopping. Babb believes that there is an online job for everyone — moms and dads and those interested in working part-time, full-time or want to supplement an existing income. Learn more about Dr. Babb and do let us know if you land a gig as a result.
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Tags: Alternative Work, Moms, Work/Life Balance
Posted in Alternative Work, Moms, Work / Life Integration | No Comments »
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A couple of days ago, I described “one of those days” where, in addition to the things on my own agenda, I had an event or meeting connected with each of my three kids to attend. So, a day that started with us leaving together at about 7:30 a.m. ended with me returning home to settle in for the night some time after 10:30 p.m.