Subscribe

subscribefeedburner Subscribe to the Apply Within Blog.

Enterprising Mom?

Looking for a source of support, connection and inspiration? Join us!

Free Consultation

Curious about coaching?

The best way to learn about it is to experience it for yourself.

Contact me for a free 30-minute exploratory session.

Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

Newer Entries »

Four-Day Work Week?

Sunday, June 8th, 2008

Last week the Today Show featured a story on how some companies are reconsidering the traditional five-day work week in favor of four days in the office — either four longer days with one day off or five regular days with one of them being a telecommuting day.

While I would love to think that organizations have finally seen the light on the whole work-life balance / work-life integration conundrum that most working parents face, and lots of non-parents as well, this is not the case. The impetus is the rising cost of fuel. According to the piece, many employers are now feeling the pinch in the wallet themselves and are considering alternative work arrangements to create a favorable situation for employees and employers alike.

While some organizations have had such flexible work policies in place for some time, the piece reports that the programs are becoming even more popular in face of the economic crunch.

Whatever the cause, my hope is that the experience will be positive for organizations and employees alike; that all will see the benefits as relates to the wallet and the pump, and also in productivity, workplace satisfaction, employee retention, the environment, and other areas as well.

While it’s disappointing that the countless ongoing efforts of so many to create this shift in support of the challenges faced by working families was not the main motivator, I do hope this shift will be incorporated into the work landscape on a broader scale as a permanent alternative.

What’s your organization’s policy on flexible scheduling and/or alternative work arrangements?

Tags: , , , ,
Posted in Alternative Work, Career, Life, Productivity, Work / Life Integration | 1 Comment »

A Different Way

Wednesday, April 23rd, 2008

Yesterday, I stood back and observed my younger daughter at preschool. She didn’t know I was watching. In fact, she was quite a distance away in the far play yard, and I was inside peering out a window. She was headed out to Toad Mountain, a big hill with a tunnel in the middle surrounded by grassy fields and playground equipment. Toad Mountain is also a place that the goats sometimes like to play along side the children. Yes, goats! The school has a strong science and nature focus and is home to three goats and several chickens. Jo, all of three years old, has a wild imagination and is creative and resourceful — a great problem-solver.

Several days before, during a similar play excursion, she clung to her teacher’s hand declaring her dislike of the goats. This was understandable since they practically stand eye-to-eye and the goats do love to nibble! While the other kids were milling about, running up and down Toad Mountain, there she stood, seemingly trapped and unable to play in this adventurous expanse because the goats were roaming free.

Yesterday, however, was different. As I watched a surge of kids burst through the gates into the fields surrounding Toad Mountain and disburse, an interesting thing happened. Rather than follow the kids and the goats, Jo stopped. She scoped out the situation, watched where everyone was going, waited for several seconds, and then burst into motion going in a completely different direction. She came at the Mountain and the kids and goats from a completely different direction. And from several hundreds of yards away, I could feel that she was empowered.

From her last encounter with the goats, she knew what she didn’t like. When she set out to be with them this time, she recognized it. Even from a distance I could see her calculating her next move, developing a strategy and then bursting forth to have fun and interactive play, on her own terms. I was happy that she was able to enjoy herself and proud that she found her own way.

When you find yourself in a situation that doesn’t work for you, how do you respond? Do you resign yourself? Take shelter? Or, do you find a new way?

Are you in a job, or a career for that matter, or even a routine that isn’t working for you? What would it be like to change what you did, where you did it, or how you did it? What would it be like to simply change the way you looked at it? What creative ways of dealing with it might present themselves if you looked at it through a different lens, perhaps even that of a child?

Have you experienced a shift in your way of doing or being as a result of interactions with or observations of a child? If so, please share your story here.

Tags: , , ,
Posted in Choice, Life | No Comments »

Spring Has Sprung!

Monday, April 21st, 2008

I’m back! Winter was a very busy time for me. I’d been taking several classes over the past few months on everything from business to parenting and things are finally winding down. My brain is chocked full of lots of useful (and some not so useful) information.

Because of the number of things with which I was involved and the limited amount of time available, I had to make some choices about how to maximize my time. And so, this blog went into hibernation again for a few weeks until life settled down. And, now that things are settling, I look forward to getting back into a grove.

Spring has sprung and as the weather warms, new growth sprouts and birds start my days with a song, I look forward to a bit of new growth myself. Stay tuned!

Posted in Life, Reflections, Time Management, Work / Life Integration | No Comments »

Living In Choice: Slowing Down

Monday, March 24th, 2008

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I saw the concept of choice play out through the eyes of a toddler — Loosh, my 17-month-old son. Watching him figure out how to have all that he had stuffed into his hands and still grab something new that he wanted even more, was watching conscious choice in action.

When I found myself sick last week with my second cold in the past few weeks, I knew I had some choices to make, so I looked to Loosh as my example. Even though I wasn’t flat-out, shriveled-up-in-bed sick, I wanted to take some steps to avoid getting there.

For weeks my days and nights have been really full. I’ve been engaged in some really fun and interesting work and classes and have been making progress on some really big projects. And, new opportunities have been coming my way. But, I realized that in order to get healthy and do more, I had to let go of some things.

I started by looking at my calendar to see what could be rescheduled, post-poned or canceled. Last week I canceled two meetings and rescheduled an all-day class so that I could slow the pace a bit. I put off grocery shopping until the weekend, when family would be in town. I’d be able to use that shopping time to focus on my projects and go grocery shopping while the kids were engaged with Dad and Granddad. And, rather than stressing about when we were going to clean up the house before family arrived on Friday, I arranged to have the house cleaned.

The wonderful thing about living in choice, is that it’s empowering. With each choice I made about how to spend my time, I felt more energized about making the next choice, and the next. Because I was no longer stressed about how to fit it all in before the weekend while feeling under the weather, I was able to slow down, figure out where my attention was most needed, and focus my energy there. It was a reminder of how all of the stuff that I need to do, and need to do immediately, really doesn’t have to be done by me specifically, and it doesn’t have to be done today, this week, or maybe ever.

My cold is almost completely gone, and so is the pressure of doing it all, myself, today!

Work-life balance is not something to be achieved. It changes as life changes. What’s working today may or may not work next week. Staying flexible, adaptable and creative about how you address work-life challenges is key, as is living in choice!

Have you had to reevaluate and make some tough choices recently? How did you handle it? What was the impact?

Tags: , , ,
Posted in Choice, Life, Moms, Productivity, Reflections, Time Management, Work / Life Integration | No Comments »

Living In Choice – Lessons From a Little One

Monday, March 17th, 2008

A few days ago, I was at the playground with two of my little ones. Loosh, as we often call our 17-month-old, was off exploring in the grass and wood chips. He took a little stumble, grabbed the earth with all he could and came up with two fists full of wood chips. He was clinging to them for dear life and did not want to let them go. He paraded around the playground with hands full of chunks of earth, until he came upon something he wanted to hold even more.

It was really fascinating watching him figure out what to do next. He looked at one hand and then the other and realized that they were both full. Then he looked at the new thing that he wanted and realized that something would have to go. He looked at his hands again, and then back at the flower and then made a choice. He decided to fit as many of the wood chips as he could in one hand, letting the excess fall to the ground. Then he grabbed the wilting dandelion that his sister, JoJo, was handing to him, which he proceeded to smash under his nose and in his mouth — his dramatic way of imitating sniffing. Before long, he was off to looking for the next greatest thing.

As I watched Loosh go through this process of filling his hands, discovering something else he wanted to hold and then making a choice about what his was willing to let go of and how much, I was reminded of how we, as adults, face the same choices – particularly as working parents.

What do you do when faced with a tough choice? What process do you go through when adding something new to your plate? How do you decide what to let go of in order to make room for what’s new? Do you let go, or do you just keep piling it on?

Stay tuned for an article with tips on how to make empowering choices.

Tags: ,
Posted in Choice, Family, Life, Time Management, Work / Life Integration | 1 Comment »

Parenting: Conscious Discipline®

Sunday, March 9th, 2008

Tonight I attended the fifth in a series of eight workshops based on Dr. Becky Bailey’s Conscious Discipline® approach, which is deeply routed in emotional intelligence principles. I was hooked from the very first session. So much, in fact, that I’ve been arranging a sitter for the kids so that my husband and I can both attend (though it didn’t quite work out tonight). Each session starts with a review of previous sessions, followed by a little song and dance. Yes, that’s right, 25 or so adults all sing and dance to a kid’s song who’s lyrics help facilitate eye-hand coordination, get the blood flowing and activate the higher centers of the brain. While I groan each time we get the cue to rise and participate, I must admit that I’m a little more present and engaged upon returning to my seat.

I’m a big reader, or at least I used to be before kids. Since having kids and becoming a business-owner mom, most of my reading has been parenting, coaching or business related. So, I’ve read lots of books about child development, discipline and the like. And, while I do have some favorites, including Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child, by John Gottman, I’m sure once I get my hands on Becky Bailey’s books, they’ll be high on the list.

The workshops offer a multi-dimensional approach to understanding how our minds, and those of our children, work and offer concrete examples of how adjusting our interactions and communication styles based on where we and our children are in our brains, we can completely shift the dynamics in a situation gone awry.

One of the things that I love most about Dr. Bailey’s approach is that it’s about a way of being with our children. The concepts she teaches encourage parents and teachers to move away from reacting to our children and to their reactions. She suggests that by forming connections through eye contact, touch, song, tone of voice, etc. and engaging with our children from this place, we’ll preemptively address some of the attention-seeking behavior, for instance, and see more positive results.

What I love about applying the principles is that they really do work. Sometimes it feels like a little brain-twisting (mine, not the kids’) is required, but what’s really powerful is that it’s not about a particular incident or interaction. By creating an environment of conscious discipline in your home, you create a way of being within your family. It’s this way of being that results in a more positive and constructive environment all around. The results in our home are pretty evident, with several undesirable behaviors virtually eliminated! Things are by no means perfect, but we all are developing and honing a arsenal of skills and tools that will empower us in Conscious Discipline.

If you’re not familiar with Dr. Baily or Conscious Discipline, take a look. And if you’re able to attend a workshop series based on the Conscious Discipline approach, sign up without hesitation!

Tags: , , , ,
Posted in Connecting, Family, Life, Moms, Parenting | No Comments »

Keeping Time

Sunday, January 6th, 2008

As I mentioned in my last post, I’m a little slow getting started this year…

If you’re also a little slow getting started this year and haven’t already selected your calendar for 2008, take a look at Mom’s Plan-it, by Avalanche. This family calendar uses a traditional grid and takes it a step further. Features include:

  • spaces for up to five family members, enabling you to track your family’s activities at a glance.
  • a storage pocket and two tabbed sections for contact information – really handy for spouses and sitters.
  • tons of stickers for the most popular events, like dentist and doctor appointments, games, vacations, etc.
  • And, best of all, it has a magnetic strip on the back – perfect for hanging on the fridge.

If you start your calendar year in sync with the school year, you’ll be pleased to know that it’s a seventeen-month calendar that starts in August.

I started using this calendar in 2007 and bought my 2008 version well before the end of the year (something I don’t typically do).

What’s your favorite time-keeping tool?

Tags: , ,
Posted in Family, Life, Organization, Time Management, Work / Life Integration | No Comments »

Happy New Year!

Saturday, January 5th, 2008

A little belated, but enthusiastic nonetheless. Though, I must confess, that my new year didn’t get off to the brightest start. Our family lost our beloved cat, Stephen, on New Year’s Eve and it’s taken me a few days to get back into the swing of things.

Stephen was a sweet little fellow with big green eyes, who was had such personality. While he used to hide out when the kids were at home and up and about, he loved coming out and chatting once they were out or asleep, or we had friends or family over. We had him long before we started a family, so he was king of the house for some time. More recently he seemed to reclaim his status in the house by blending in with the family, instead of hiding out. With each subsequent child, he’d gotten a little more comfortable with little hands petting his head, stroking his back, and even pulling his tail. He moved to the DC area with us from Boston, where we got him when he was just a few weeks old. He was more than fifteen years old when he passed. Our usual family rituals for celebrating a new year will now include a special remembrance of our dear little one.

Loosing someone special really taps a person at one’s core and can put one in touch with deep-running and raw emotions. And as painful as it was to experience the loss, there is something about it that made me feel alive. To feel so deeply and to connect with family and friends from this place of sorrow really put me in touch with my humanity.

The support and encouragement I received from friends, family, neighbors and strangers was really a powerful reminder of the impact that one person can have on another, even with the smallest of gestures.

And, it’s on that note that I embrace the new year, celebrating the life our dear Stephen, and celebrating love, connection, peace and the power of the human (and animal) spirit!

Tags: , , ,
Posted in Connecting, Family, Life, Reflections | No Comments »

Career Management and the Holidays

Tuesday, November 27th, 2007

The weather is turning cooler, more seasonal, and holiday decorations pepper the landscape. As we sail into the holiday season, people are shifting from intimate social gatherings with close friends and family to socially engaging winter holiday activities: holiday shopping, volunteering, attending parties and celebrations, etc.

And, while lots of people slow down and disconnect a bit from their work lives as the year draws to a close, it can be a wonderful time to create new connections and fruitful relationships as you begin a new year.

Whether a new job or career is on the forefront, (and especially if one is), here are a few tips for connecting during holiday festivities:

  1. Keep personal ‘business’ cards on hand
    Even if you are gainfully employed, a card with your contact information and area of expertise can help facilitate new connections (no fumbling for pen and paper, no risk of misspellings or difficult to read handwriting). Don’t have any? Order some for free at vistaprint.com.
  2. Be able to describe what you do in a compelling way in a minute or two (over a platter of veggies and dip!)
    Instead of reciting a job title when someone asks what you do, think about how you help people and/or organizations and then talk about it in a way the creates interest and intrigue. What problems do you solve and how do those that you help benefit? Ex: I help people connect with and honor what’s most important to them and live more balanced and fulfilling lives as a result … (life coach)
  3. Forget about the traditional concept of networking and get curious
    Take genuine interest in those around you. Get really curious about who they are and what they do. Engaging based on curiosity and mutual interests creates an fertile environment for personal and/or professional relationships to flourish. Along the way, you may find out that your sister’s new boyfriend’s cousin has a contact at that company you’ve been scoping out!
  4. Ask for what you want
    If you meet someone who might be a useful ally in your career or job change, ask for what you want. Interested in learning more about their organization? Ask for an informational interview or a tour. Do they have a friend at the organization you’ve been researching? As for an introduction. Feel a sense of connection? Ask for a lunch or coffee date.
  5. Consider how you can help those you meet
    Do you know of a person your new contact really needs to meet? A great book you read recently that they’d enjoy? An event they might like to attend? Sharing information of interest to others is a great ways to connect (and reconnect after your initial meeting).

Whether attending the festivities of family, friends, your employer, your spouse/partner’s employer, professional associations, etc., you never know who you’ll meet and where that new connection might lead.

Tags: , , , ,
Posted in Career, Life, Networking | No Comments »

Where are you headed?

Monday, November 5th, 2007

Today was my eldest daughters’ biannual dental checkup. Even though we’ve been going to this dentist for more than two years, I get lost almost every time. Priya still recounts the occasions where I was either on the phone with Dad getting turn-by-turn MapQuest directions, or with the dentist’s office assuring them that I really was there – their office building just wasn’t where I expected it to be.

The thing is, I have a pretty good sense of direction. I typically only need to take a route once before I’ve locked it in. And, I’m not afraid of getting lost. In fact, I often veer off of my intended path if enticed by an interesting house, street or neighborhood.

I have lots of theories about what’s at play … I’ve been there several times before, so I should know where it is. Therefore, I hop in the minivan, start driving and am usually on the road for several minutes before I realize that I don’t know exactly where I’m headed. Second, it’s in a neighborhood that one can get to a thousand different ways. Given my propensity to explore, I don’t usually take the same route to or from each appointment, so repetition is not on my side. Third, there’s a bit of construction near the office. Since we only go twice a year, the changes are pretty dramatic. Couple that with approaching the office from a different direction, and my perspective is really thrown. I could go on …

So, today, with three kids in tow, I decided to the logical thing and print out directions. I couldn’t bear the thought of tiny concerned voices asking in turn:

“Mommy, are we lost?”
“Mommy, are we going to be late?”
“Mommy, should you call somebody?” (O.K., the little guy can’t talk yet, but this is what I’d be hearing in his random gurglings.)

Today we got there in record time. We were early, in fact. Will it stick? I certainly hope so, since I have to take our three year old for her first checkup on Friday.

As I meandered home, taking the very same route home as I took to get there (yes, you can teach an old dog new tricks!), I thought about how often we move through life in the same way as I’d been getting to and from the dentist – by the seat of my pants.

Do you know where you are going? Not necessarily today or tomorrow, but where are you headed five years from now? Ten years? Twenty? You may have a pretty good idea, or not much of one at all. Whatever the case, imagine how different your life might be if you did know, if you created a plan – a map and a set of directions – and if you took active steps to get there.

I always made it to the dentist’s office eventually. Often late, disheveled, and apologetic … But, by taking a few minutes to really consider where I was going and create a plan for getting there, I got there calmly, confidently and even early! Blow this up to a really big scale (your life!), and image the possibilities.

Live in Choice!

Tags: , ,
Posted in Career, Choice, Life | No Comments »

Newer Entries »