Subscribe

subscribefeedburner Subscribe to the Apply Within Blog.

Enterprising Mom?

Looking for a source of support, connection and inspiration? Join us!

Free Consultation

Curious about coaching?

The best way to learn about it is to experience it for yourself.

Contact me for a free 30-minute exploratory session.

Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

Living In Choice – Lessons From a Little One

Monday, March 17th, 2008

A few days ago, I was at the playground with two of my little ones. Loosh, as we often call our 17-month-old, was off exploring in the grass and wood chips. He took a little stumble, grabbed the earth with all he could and came up with two fists full of wood chips. He was clinging to them for dear life and did not want to let them go. He paraded around the playground with hands full of chunks of earth, until he came upon something he wanted to hold even more.

It was really fascinating watching him figure out what to do next. He looked at one hand and then the other and realized that they were both full. Then he looked at the new thing that he wanted and realized that something would have to go. He looked at his hands again, and then back at the flower and then made a choice. He decided to fit as many of the wood chips as he could in one hand, letting the excess fall to the ground. Then he grabbed the wilting dandelion that his sister, JoJo, was handing to him, which he proceeded to smash under his nose and in his mouth — his dramatic way of imitating sniffing. Before long, he was off to looking for the next greatest thing.

As I watched Loosh go through this process of filling his hands, discovering something else he wanted to hold and then making a choice about what his was willing to let go of and how much, I was reminded of how we, as adults, face the same choices – particularly as working parents.

What do you do when faced with a tough choice? What process do you go through when adding something new to your plate? How do you decide what to let go of in order to make room for what’s new? Do you let go, or do you just keep piling it on?

Stay tuned for an article with tips on how to make empowering choices.

Parenting: Conscious Discipline®

Sunday, March 9th, 2008

Tonight I attended the fifth in a series of eight workshops based on Dr. Becky Bailey’s Conscious Discipline® approach, which is deeply routed in emotional intelligence principles. I was hooked from the very first session. So much, in fact, that I’ve been arranging a sitter for the kids so that my husband and I can both attend (though it didn’t quite work out tonight). Each session starts with a review of previous sessions, followed by a little song and dance. Yes, that’s right, 25 or so adults all sing and dance to a kid’s song who’s lyrics help facilitate eye-hand coordination, get the blood flowing and activate the higher centers of the brain. While I groan each time we get the cue to rise and participate, I must admit that I’m a little more present and engaged upon returning to my seat.

I’m a big reader, or at least I used to be before kids. Since having kids and becoming a business-owner mom, most of my reading has been parenting, coaching or business related. So, I’ve read lots of books about child development, discipline and the like. And, while I do have some favorites, including Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child, by John Gottman, I’m sure once I get my hands on Becky Bailey’s books, they’ll be high on the list.

The workshops offer a multi-dimensional approach to understanding how our minds, and those of our children, work and offer concrete examples of how adjusting our interactions and communication styles based on where we and our children are in our brains, we can completely shift the dynamics in a situation gone awry.

One of the things that I love most about Dr. Bailey’s approach is that it’s about a way of being with our children. The concepts she teaches encourage parents and teachers to move away from reacting to our children and to their reactions. She suggests that by forming connections through eye contact, touch, song, tone of voice, etc. and engaging with our children from this place, we’ll preemptively address some of the attention-seeking behavior, for instance, and see more positive results.

What I love about applying the principles is that they really do work. Sometimes it feels like a little brain-twisting (mine, not the kids’) is required, but what’s really powerful is that it’s not about a particular incident or interaction. By creating an environment of conscious discipline in your home, you create a way of being within your family. It’s this way of being that results in a more positive and constructive environment all around. The results in our home are pretty evident, with several undesirable behaviors virtually eliminated! Things are by no means perfect, but we all are developing and honing a arsenal of skills and tools that will empower us in Conscious Discipline.

If you’re not familiar with Dr. Baily or Conscious Discipline, take a look. And if you’re able to attend a workshop series based on the Conscious Discipline approach, sign up without hesitation!

Keeping Time

Sunday, January 6th, 2008

As I mentioned in my last post, I’m a little slow getting started this year…

If you’re also a little slow getting started this year and haven’t already selected your calendar for 2008, take a look at Mom’s Plan-it, by Avalanche. This family calendar uses a traditional grid and takes it a step further. Features include:

  • spaces for up to five family members, enabling you to track your family’s activities at a glance.
  • a storage pocket and two tabbed sections for contact information – really handy for spouses and sitters.
  • tons of stickers for the most popular events, like dentist and doctor appointments, games, vacations, etc.
  • And, best of all, it has a magnetic strip on the back – perfect for hanging on the fridge.

If you start your calendar year in sync with the school year, you’ll be pleased to know that it’s a seventeen-month calendar that starts in August.

I started using this calendar in 2007 and bought my 2008 version well before the end of the year (something I don’t typically do).

What’s your favorite time-keeping tool?

Happy New Year!

Saturday, January 5th, 2008

A little belated, but enthusiastic nonetheless. Though, I must confess, that my new year didn’t get off to the brightest start. Our family lost our beloved cat, Stephen, on New Year’s Eve and it’s taken me a few days to get back into the swing of things.

Stephen was a sweet little fellow with big green eyes, who was had such personality. While he used to hide out when the kids were at home and up and about, he loved coming out and chatting once they were out or asleep, or we had friends or family over. We had him long before we started a family, so he was king of the house for some time. More recently he seemed to reclaim his status in the house by blending in with the family, instead of hiding out. With each subsequent child, he’d gotten a little more comfortable with little hands petting his head, stroking his back, and even pulling his tail. He moved to the DC area with us from Boston, where we got him when he was just a few weeks old. He was more than fifteen years old when he passed. Our usual family rituals for celebrating a new year will now include a special remembrance of our dear little one.

Loosing someone special really taps a person at one’s core and can put one in touch with deep-running and raw emotions. And as painful as it was to experience the loss, there is something about it that made me feel alive. To feel so deeply and to connect with family and friends from this place of sorrow really put me in touch with my humanity.

The support and encouragement I received from friends, family, neighbors and strangers was really a powerful reminder of the impact that one person can have on another, even with the smallest of gestures.

And, it’s on that note that I embrace the new year, celebrating the life our dear Stephen, and celebrating love, connection, peace and the power of the human (and animal) spirit!