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Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

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Change Ahead: Apply Within

Tuesday, May 10th, 2011

Today marks a new start for me. It is the day that I officially announced to the world that I am pursuing new a direction in my work life. That The Enterprising Moms and Apply Within, two businesses I started while growing my young family will no longer be my primary work focus … that I will be exploring work options outside of my home, likely in a traditional work setting.

It is not a decision I have come to quickly or lightly. It is one that evolved out of shifts and changes in my home life creating a need and want for something that will better my needs and those of my family. The process has been underway for some time, though I was not fully conscious of it early on. Even when the need for change began to come into sharp focus, I was not quite ready to acknowledge it. In fact, I was down right resistant and mournful about it.

I have spent years creating a work life and communities of support around my identity as an Enterprising Mom. In the beginning it took me a while even to think of myself as an Enterprising Mom. I would call myself a business owner, self-employed, a freelancer or any number of other things to avoid that word “entrepreneur.” It felt so much larger than me, like shoes 5 times too big. Overtime I came to embrace the idea of being an entrepreneurial and Enterprising Mom and I know that no matter what line of work I choose, that part of me will live on, though it will be expressed in different ways.

There are lots of factors that have led me to this place, many of which I will likely explore here and process through my writing. And, to be sure, it us not all bad. In fact, there is a lot that is good about it. I am getting excited about this change and the liberation that will come. Although I am thoroughly conflicted about the impact this change may have on the amount and quality of time I will have with my kids, I know that I am a creative and resourceful person and will use those skills to create a work life that is a good “fit” for me, my family, my home and my work.

And this brings me to the new name of this blog, “Mama is Having a Fit! “It is about my journey to find just the right work-life fit and what I learn along the way. My hope is that this exploration will not result in too many “fits” or tantrums. But since there is learning in all things, a fit or two may be a part of the process as I work to find just the right Fit.

Carolyn

Mama is Having a Fit! / Apply Within Work-Life Hub

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Posted in Choice, Entrepreneurship, Family, Reflections, Work / Life Integration, work-life balance | No Comments »

One of Those Days

Thursday, May 5th, 2011

woman holding clockYesterday was one of those jam-packed days. It started with a 9 a.m. appointment in DC, which meant an early start leaving the house to drop the husband off at the Metro, kids 1 and 2 off at elementary school and kid 3 at pre-school on the far end of town. I spent an hour and 45 minutes transporting and crawling in traffic before arriving at my destination.

By 10:30 a.m. I was back at home, plugging away at work before I blinked and suddenly, it was 1:45 p.m. … time to suit-up for my oldest’s practice 5K with her Girls on the Run group. Since I am her buddy runner for the real 5K coming up on the 15th and I haven’t run a block since the last one in December, I thought I might see if my legs still work. Although I spent most of the time cheering the girls on and showering them with colored hair spray each time they completed three laps, I did squeak in three laps of own with my daughter at the end of her race. She told her friends she was training me for the big race!

From there it was on to a springtime celebration at my son’s school with a looming threat of rain that, thankfully, never fully materialized. We arrived a 4:30 p.m., a half hour earlier than expected so we had some welcome breathing room. After helping with set up, we enjoyed the light foods and festivities as I photographed the event on behalf of the school. Suddenly it was 6:45 p.m. and time to move on.

Although it was an hour passed our regular dinner time, since the kids had been munching on egg salad, hummus, bread and strawberries, I didn’t feel too guilty about stopping at McDonald’s on the way home for a few nuggets to “fill the crevice,” as my dad used to say. It had been a long day for all of us and it wasn’t over yet … we all deserved a little treat.

As we chugged through the line at the drive through, I phoned my husband with a quick status update. We were picking up food and heading home. But, since I needed to be at a Daisie meeting for daughter number 2 at 7:30 p.m., I would only have time to drop the kids off before heading back out. We did a run down of what needed to be done once we arrived. The kids needed to eat, do homework, take showers and get the hair spray paint out before heading down to bed. The would certainly not make their usual 7:30 bedtime, but when their heads did hit the pillow, I   they’d fall right to sleep.

I didn’t even get out of the car when we pulled in to the driveway. Dad came out and brought the kids and related gear in and I headed off to the Daisie meeting. While I expected the meeting to last about an hour, once we churned through the agenda, the conversation got juicy. And, although I felt time slipping away, I found myself compelled to stay. It’s not very often that I get to hang out with a group of women with no kids tugging, pleading, whining or shouting for attention. For the next two hours, we enjoyed real life adult conversation. More about that soon.

When I got into my car to leave, I was shocked to see that it was a little after 10:30 p.m.! I had survived one of “those” days. The kinds of days we all have, some more often than others. The days were we are pulled in so many different directions, spend hours in the car traveling to and fro and transporting various people along the way. Days when we go from one thing to the next and forget to eat because we haven’t been still long enough to realize we are even hungry.

It was such a sweet treat that my day ended in the company of fellow moms, several of whom probably had days just like mine.

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Posted in Family, Getting Things Done, Work / Life Integration | No Comments »

How Momma Got Her Groove Back

Monday, January 3rd, 2011

Today is the first day back from winter break and I’m on fire (in a good way!). The kids had been out of school since December 22nd. The days and weeks leading up to that were filled with holiday activities and performances, so in some ways it felt as though the holidays lasted for much longer than they actually did.

I’m happy to say that I did a lot of things right this year, compared to years past. I can be a bit of a procrastinator on some things, which as we all know, can lead to lots of unnecessary stress, among other things.

This year, I put together a holiday shopping matrix in early November. I brainstormed gifts with hubby and kids and put together a gift list and budget that helped to keep things on track. It included everything from holiday outings to teacher gifts. It made every aspect of the holiday season more enjoyable. The extra preparation opened up more time in the weeks before the break to participate in activities at school and after school, something that had been a challenge at times in the past. There were fewer shopping trips and fewer spontaneous and last-minute purchases. Overall, I was left with more time and energy that I channeled into more meaningful things.

But, even with the extra preparation and the open time that it created, I found myself a bit out of sorts the past few days. Yesterday, while working side-by-side with my third grader who was finishing up a school project, I attempted to write several different pieces, purge email boxes, and tackle other things I wanted to get done. But, it just wasn’t happening. Folding laundry, on the other hand, was something I was able to conquer easily as I pondered what was amiss. It wasn’t until late in the afternoon, as we began to gear the kids up for going back to school today, that things really clicked.

I’m an introvert. A big introvert. And, as much as I love to spend time with my family, and as much as I looked forward to having them home for winter break, as much as I enjoyed the holidays, the outings and activities, I also was also missing something … my alone time. As a work-at-home mom, I’m accustomed to being the only one in the house for a chunk of the day. It’s time I need not only to work, but to have a bit of solitude as well. Not only did I miss that time, but I missed doing the activities that stimulate other parts of my brain, in addition to my heart.

Another big missing element was a regular routine. Gone were all of the usual cues to which the kids were accustomed for getting the day started, winding down at the end of the day, and everything else in between.  And, while I love and embrace opportunities to mix things up and to be spontaneous, especially during such a festive time of year, too long a stretch without consistency and structure can create a breeding ground for mischief. Over the years, I’ve really come to appreciate how valuable routines are in guiding behavior, managing expectations and demands, and in regulating the flow of the day.

So, today, as I celebrate the many success of the holiday season, I’ll also jot down a few notes on creative ways to incorporate comforting structure while also embracing opportunities for downtime and spontaneity as well, along with some alone time for me.

How about you? What were your successes this holiday season? What kinds of routines and structures helped you make the most of your winter break?

Carolyn
Work-Life Integration Coach & Consultant / Apply Within / @ApplyWithin
Chief Enterprising Mom / The Enterprising Moms / @EnterprisingMom

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Posted in Family, Life, Parenting, Time Management, Work / Life Integration | No Comments »

Snowed-In With Kids? Create an Idea Basket to Prevent Boredom

Friday, February 5th, 2010

bored-girl-xsmWe’ve been getting more snow than usual in the DC metro area (a little too reminiscent of my Boston days!). And while snow creates new opportunities for outdoor fun, there’s only so long one can stay outside before the wetness and cold seep in. After replacing soggy outerwear with comfy dry clothes and snowballs with hot chocolate, what are kids to do?

During that last big snow storm, when boredom set in, I gathered the kiddies for a little brainstorming session and we created an idea basket.

Huh? Well, we had to call it something, and that seemed to fit. Simply put, it’s a basket full of ideas and options … things to do when it seems like there’s absolutely nothing in the world of interest to do (and it’s a life-safer when you’re home-bound with the kids – for any reason!)

What You’ll Need

  • Index or note cards
  • Small envelopes
  • Pens, markers or crayons
  • Healthy dose of creativity

Getting Started

For me, there were two triggers:

  1. My seven year old declaring that there was absolutely nothing to do amidst a sea of options
  2. Discovering a plastic bin full of card and other small games that we’d completely forgotten

I mean, how could there be nothing to do with shelves and bins full of games, toys, activity kits, puzzles. But, to my daughter, except for a few choice things, they’d just become part of the furnishings.

So we came up with a creative way to find fun things to do on the fly … We wrote the name of each game on a card and stuck it in it’s own envelope, wrote the word ‘Games’ on each one and that got the basket started.

Then we started talking about random things we’d like to do … someday, like make hula skirts with newspaper, make sun catchers with the kit from last Christmas, create a time capsule, etc. (We keep a notebook in the kitchen to capture random ideas like this, so we pulled a bunch from there.) We put each of those ideas on a card and put each in it’s own envelope with the word ‘Activities’ on it.

We did the same for crafts: make bean bags, oobleck, play dough, crochet shoelaces, etc. Then we sorted the envelopes by category and put a clip around each category.

Now, when the kids are looking for something fun to do, we grab the idea basket. If they’re in the mood for crafts, we take the clip off the craft envelopes, spread them in the basket and then someone gets to pick an envelop. Same with games and activities.

The Payoff

The kids love the anticipation and the element of surprise. And, because they participated in the whole process, they get really excited about drawing an idea from the basket. The envelopes really add to the mystery and drama! Drawing from the basket also reduces spats around who gets to choose the game/activity/craft because selection is random. Now to decide who gets to draw the envelope …

Got a great tip for how to spend home-bound days? Please add yours in the comments section below.

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Posted in Family, Life, Parenting, Sanity Savers | 2 Comments »

Apply Within Expanding Offerings & Reach

Sunday, January 17th, 2010

woman_clockIn 2009 I wasn’t an active blogger in this space, though I’ve been active on my blog for The Enterprising Moms and elsewhere. The year 2009 was one that brought lots of opportunities and challenges in all areas of my life and certainly impacted how and where I spent my time. My coaching business and this blog were two places where I chose to step back a bit and embrace opportunities available to me through my other ventures and to become more actively involved with my childrens’ schools.

The Enterprising Moms, the organization I founded for women who are ‘growing businesses while growing families’ grew immensely over the past year and got lots of traction. Our membership grew greatly, much of it by word-of-mouth referrals. We began offering networking and educational programs and workshops and held our first holiday Biz-aar last year. So many new opportunities and so many firsts! A truly rewarding year!

At my son’s preschool, where I’m a part-time co-director, I was able to put skills from past work experience and that with The Enterprising Moms to work in new and creative ways. At times, especially when I realized that this work was taking up more time that I had anticipated, it was overwhelming. But, because doing this work and having an impact on this wonderful non-profit holistic pre-school was important to me, I analyzed my time and developed new ways structure things to make it workable.

One of my favorite words is evolution, ‘a process of continuous change from a lower, simpler, or worse to a higher, more complex, or better state.’

I think of my life, and everything and everyone in it as evolving and by doing so, I’ve learned to embrace the fact that what works today, tomorrow and this month, may not be what works six months from now. Committing to a path based on what I know today, does not mean I have to commit to that path forever. Change is part of the process of life.  We can hold steadfast as the world, our circumstances, or children, etc. all change around us or we can accept and embrace change and integrate how we deal with change and transitions into the  way we live our lives.

There is tremendous freedom in giving ones self permission to explore, be flexible, be creative and to adapt as life changes – to evolve. It’s through is way of thinking that I have greater sense of flow in my life and all of it’s dimensions. It’s this sense of flow that helps me to address that feeling of stuckness that sometimes shows up and it enables me to reconnect with my essence.

And it’s this sense of flow and the process of evolution that’s breathed new life and opportunities into Apply Within and this space. In 2010 I’m expanding my offerings to including consulting and coaching services. I’m excited to work with moms (and dads) in a new ways and meet them where they are and offer different approaches to helping them get to where they want to be. You can learn more about my offerings and approach on my web site. In the meantime, please subscribe to this blog, ‘Living in Choice‘ and to ‘The Enterprising Blog‘ for more insights and updates and ponder the following:

  • Where do you get stuck?
  • What gets you unstuck?
  • How do you keep the flow in your life?

Posted in Commitment, Family, Getting Things Done, Moms, Productivity, Time Management, Work / Life Integration | 2 Comments »

Sanity Saver: Outsourcing the House

Saturday, July 5th, 2008

A few months ago, my husband and I had a shift in our finances — an unexpected decrease in expenses, which led to an increase in funds available. There were lots of potential places into which the newly found funds could be directed. But, for me, the choice was crystal clear — we absolutely had to get a house cleaning service.

I must first confess that until just a couple of years ago, I’d never ‘believed’ in hiring anyone to clean our house. (There were certain kinds of people who had cleaning services — extremely busy people out doing urgently important things or people with money dripping from their fingertips; not regular everyday people, or so I thought).

My husband didn’t believe in the concept either. In fact, he was pretty confident in our ability to do it ourselves. He felt like we should be able to make it work — a concept I’d put to rest long ago. Eventually, he came around and we both accepted that it wasn’t about ability or even our desire to do it (or not) — it was about time. While we generally kept the house tidy, finding the time to really clean it was a growing challenge. We simply didn’t have the time, as many working families can attest.

We’re a family with two working parents and three kids all under the age of six living in a modest house. More and more, household chores were eating away at time that could be spent with our children and doing other, far more enriching things.

At the same time, the ‘outsource the house’ movement was taking hold. Families from all walks of life were taking back their time by outsourcing many of the chores that were eating up family time — everything from housecleaning to laundry to lawn care. It was all starting to make sense. It took a while to get here, but now, I think I’d sooner give up chocolate than the house cleaning service.

What we pay out to have the house cleaned every two weeks, we gain in:

  • reduced stress about what cleaning needs to be done and when
  • less mental energy spent trying to figure out how to get it all done
  • more time spent on things we want to do
  • that hour or two where everything is just so, until …

So, when you think about work/life balance, time management, and such, what’s one thing that, if outsourced, would have a positive impact on your quality of life?

And, if you’re already outsourcing, what have you outsourced in your house and what has been the pay-off?

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Posted in Family, Life, Productivity, Sanity Savers, Work / Life Integration | No Comments »

Goodbye Kindergarten. Hello New Rituals!

Thursday, June 19th, 2008

school_bus.jpg

Yesterday was the big day. The last day of kindergarten! Pee-ba was pretty excited from the start of the day — especially since I promised a special outing for just the two of us.

It started with a special hand-made card signed by mom, dad, JoJo (little sister) and Loosh (little brother) that was decorated with stickers galore. We slipped it into her lunch box for a special mid-morning surprise. Next we did a special hair-do with fancy trimmings. And then, just as on the first day of school, the whole family swept her off to meet the bus. I couldn’t resist taking a few pictures to mark the occasion.

Several hours later, she bound off the bus anticipating our outing, which she continually referred to as our ‘out,’ with the excitement of the five year old she is! Her first question was, “can we go to the pool?” But, since we weren’t quite ready for swimming season yet (didn’t have all of our gear), and it was a tad cool for me, we’d have to take a pass. After some initial disappointment, she recalled our planned ‘out’ and the excitement and anticipation returned.

We started with some shopping to find a new bathing suit for her and found success at our first store (along with a new smaller handbag for mom!). Next, it was off to Target for some noodles for the pool. I might as well have just invented chocolate, she was so happy. We topped our afternoon off with an ice cream, which she savored slowly as we sat at under the cool cover of an umbrella at a sidewalk table and enjoyed the scenery. We topped it off with her favorites for dinner and games with Dad and her siblings before trotting off to bed with her noodle.

The day was so fulfilling, especially the one-on-one time with Pee-ba — and it was clear that she appreciated it as well. As a working mom of three, creating that one-on-one time for each child can be a challenge, but the pay-off is so immediate and so rich. In the span of an afternoon, Pee-ba and I established a new set of rituals for celebrating the last day of school that’ll we’ll repeat next year and adapt as she grows. And, this will serve as inspiration for special school-time rituals with her younger siblings as they grow into the school system. These rituals enrich our time together and serve as inspiration for creating the space for even more one-on-one time with each of little one.

How do you make the most of one-on-one time with you child/ren? And what role do rituals play?

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Posted in Connecting, Family, Life, Moms, Parenting, Work / Life Integration | 4 Comments »

Last Day of Kindergarten

Wednesday, June 18th, 2008

Tomorrow’s a pretty big day for me and my oldest child, Pee-ba (as her little brother calls her). It’s her last day of Kindergarten. It’s hard to fathom that an entire school year has passed. She has grown immensely. Truly. She’s learned so much in what seems like such a short time … She carries on conversations that I just can’t imagine I was capable of having at her age.

From her first days of school, I felt her tether stretch as she sailed out into her new world and returned with new thoughts, ideas, experiences, things; and then she would sail out again and return with even more. She formed real friendships with people that aren’t connected with me or her dad. I’ve come to know them partially from the time spent in the classroom, but much of what I know about them shows up in Priya — in the new dance moves I see her showing her little sister, the songs she sings in the car while we’re driving, in the things she asks for when we’re at a store and the little gifts she brings home.

All year long she’s said how much she loves Kindergarten and wants to stay there forever, if only. How innocent! How sweet! And now, she says she’s ready for it to be over. She doesn’t anticipate missing much about school, aside from friends. I’ve come to realize in recent days that it’s more about what she’s looking forward to (summer fun) than wanting school to end.

In some ways, the feeling is reminiscent of weaning. I’ve watched her grow so tall, so articulate, so curious and confident. She doesn’t cling as tightly as she used to. She has original thoughts and ideas and is persistent about expressing them. She’s really growing up. And, it’s bittersweet. I know all of the things that are beautiful, powerful and empowering about it; and I also know where this path leads. But, instead of borrowing from the future and focusing on what someday will no longer be, I’ll celebrate this milestone in a special way.

Stay tuned …

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Posted in Connecting, Family, Life, Moms, Parenting, Work / Life Integration | No Comments »

Happy Father’s Day!

Sunday, June 15th, 2008

I hope that all of you dads out there were able to enjoy a special day with loved ones doing the things that matter to you most. The kids and I celebrated the Dad in our house with a day of fun in the sun, including a waterfront picnic and a round of pig-pile on freshly cut grass. The giggles were priceless!

This Father’s Day also felt a bit somber as we morned the loss of Tim Russert. Although I didn’t know him personally, he definitely has impacted my life.

To me, he personified passion, in work and in life. As a young person, I was disinterested in politics. Perhaps it was the endless hours of talk radio that I was subjected to in the car with my dad. As he would listen so intently on AM radio, I would marvel at how he could take in any of it, given all of the static. As I grew into adulthood, my dad would often joke about my seeming distain for politics. It just wasn’t quite my cup of tea. But, as I matured, I eventually tuned in, and Tim Russert was one major reason.

His passionate and intense approach to the issues inspired me to sit up a little straighter while viewing. I always felt a little smarter after viewing Meet The Press. Prior to having kids, it was regular viewing in our house. With kids came more complicated schedules that conflicted with the Sunday morning ritual, but I looked forward to catching up with the replay on the local cable news network. Whenever there was something brewing in the political realm, I always tuned in to NBC hear Tim’s perspective. I cannot imagine this election season without him.

Above and beyond his enormous societal contributions, Tim Russert had a significant impact on my own relationship with my Dad. Like so many others, my Dad was also a fan of Tim Russert and Meet the Press. I was able to connect with my Dad on the hot political issues of the day, thanks to Tim and Meet the Press. An investment of an hour of my time would reconnect me with the important issues and challenges facing our nation and the people involved. I always feel a little closer to my Dad when I share his knowledge and interest in political issues. It creates a special bond between us, especially since we moved to this political Mecca that is Washington, DC.

On this Father’s Day, I’m fortunate that I was able to call my Dad in Massachusetts first thing this morning to let him know that he is loved. I am sad that Tim’s family was unable to do the same.

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Posted in Connecting, Family, Life | No Comments »

Coping with Stress

Wednesday, June 11th, 2008

Feeling a little stressed these days? The tight economy, unstable job and housing markets, escalating fuel prices and the ripple effects of each can leave one feeling anxious and uneasy.

On Tuesday, June 10th, I was featured in a segment on NBC4 Evening News entitled “Experts Offer Advice On Reducing Financial Stress.” It’s the second in a four-part series on managing stress during these tough economic times. In the piece, I offer tips and strategies for dealing with the stress and uncertainty that can come with an economic climate like the one we’re facing. In addition to the video, you can access a transcript online.

What are you doing to manage stress? Share your tips and tools here.

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Posted in Family, Life, Parenting | No Comments »

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