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Me: In a Nutshell (Resume Dread)

May 18th, 2011

As I announced more than a week ago, I am in the process of on-ramping, on-routing … returning to the workforce in a more traditional role. And one of the traditions of the traditional workplace is the resume. Although I started off as a career coach and have worked with countless others on their resumes, I am really dreading updating my own resume. I know I’m not alone in this dread. I hear it all the time from friends and others.

And the whole process has been made even more complex by social media, in particular Linkedin. Before social media sites like Linkedin, a person could create multiple versions of a resume, each targeted at a specific job or field of interest. These days, that level of targeting has become challenging with our lives alive and interactive online. The good news is the Linkedin offers some of flexibility in how information is presented and can offer a broader view of one’s skills, experience and talents.

This morning I struggled with how best cohesively represent the variety of work experiences and roles that I have had in recent years. In my world there is a rhyme and rhythm to my work-related experiences, each highlighting a particular skill or talent or done as a way to hone an under-developed one.

The good news is that the spark has been lit. I have begun updating my Linkedin profile and have actually gotten excited about it as a explore creative ways to describe my world of work. And this work will ultimately prove useful as I move on to my resume.

Onward and upward …

Carolyn

Mama is Having a Fit! / Apply Within Work-Life Hub

Change Ahead: Apply Within

May 10th, 2011

Today marks a new start for me. It is the day that I officially announced to the world that I am pursuing new a direction in my work life. That The Enterprising Moms and Apply Within, two businesses I started while growing my young family will no longer be my primary work focus … that I will be exploring work options outside of my home, likely in a traditional work setting.

It is not a decision I have come to quickly or lightly. It is one that evolved out of shifts and changes in my home life creating a need and want for something that will better my needs and those of my family. The process has been underway for some time, though I was not fully conscious of it early on. Even when the need for change began to come into sharp focus, I was not quite ready to acknowledge it. In fact, I was down right resistant and mournful about it.

I have spent years creating a work life and communities of support around my identity as an Enterprising Mom. In the beginning it took me a while even to think of myself as an Enterprising Mom. I would call myself a business owner, self-employed, a freelancer or any number of other things to avoid that word “entrepreneur.” It felt so much larger than me, like shoes 5 times too big. Overtime I came to embrace the idea of being an entrepreneurial and Enterprising Mom and I know that no matter what line of work I choose, that part of me will live on, though it will be expressed in different ways.

There are lots of factors that have led me to this place, many of which I will likely explore here and process through my writing. And, to be sure, it us not all bad. In fact, there is a lot that is good about it. I am getting excited about this change and the liberation that will come. Although I am thoroughly conflicted about the impact this change may have on the amount and quality of time I will have with my kids, I know that I am a creative and resourceful person and will use those skills to create a work life that is a good “fit” for me, my family, my home and my work.

And this brings me to the new name of this blog, “Mama is Having a Fit! “It is about my journey to find just the right work-life fit and what I learn along the way. My hope is that this exploration will not result in too many “fits” or tantrums. But since there is learning in all things, a fit or two may be a part of the process as I work to find just the right Fit.

Carolyn

Mama is Having a Fit! / Apply Within Work-Life Hub

Another Daisie Meeting, Please!

May 7th, 2011

A couple of days ago, I described “one of those days” where, in addition to the things on my own agenda, I had an event or meeting connected with each of my three kids to attend. So, a day that started with us leaving together at about 7:30 a.m. ended with me returning home to settle in for the night some time after 10:30 p.m.

The last event of the day was a parent’s meeting for my middle daughter’s Daisie troop. We needed to discuss the end of the year, how we would bridge into Brownies and what activities we wanted to plan for the year ahead. The two women leading the meeting were very organized with a clear agenda and structure so that our time was used wisely.

At some point along the way, however, as we plugged through the agenda, the meeting got a bit personal, in a really good way. It started with a request for those who had been girl scouts to share their thoughts about the most memorable activities they did as kids so that we might consider those activities for our group. This conversation grew into sharing about a wide scope of life experiences: discipline, peer relationships, childhood chatter, the “talk,” fashions of our youth, childbirth and more.

I typically work a bit in the evenings, so initially I was mindful of my time. At one point, when there seemed to be a shift, I readied my bag. But the conversation drew me back in. It felt good to be part of a community of women who were so open to sharing their stories, good and bad, and offer comfort and support when it came to the sticky stuff. As the meeting wound down we found ourselves saying that WE needed to have more Daisie meetings.

Over the past several weeks, I have been thinking a lot about my own support system, growing it and nurturing it, becoming a part of the support systems of others for whom I care, and developing new relationships based on who and where I am today. Several people expressed how fun it was to sit, talk and share and suggested that we do so again and I’m all for it. This Daisie meeting reinforced for me the value of peer relationships and how powerfully women can support and empower one another.

In a conversation a couple of weeks ago, I wondered whether it was possible to establish deep and meaningful relationships at this stage in life. Many people have friends that they have had since childhood, grade school or college. Others have shared their transition to motherhood and have developed deeply routed bonds. Others connect over work-life and career. This gathering reminded me that relationships come in all shapes, sizes and forms to fill all kinds of spaces in our lives. It’s what we do to develop those relationships that determines what will evolve, or not.

Carolyn

@ApplyWithin / @EnterprisingMom / @EcoActiveFamily

One of Those Days

May 5th, 2011

woman holding clockYesterday was one of those jam-packed days. It started with a 9 a.m. appointment in DC, which meant an early start leaving the house to drop the husband off at the Metro, kids 1 and 2 off at elementary school and kid 3 at pre-school on the far end of town. I spent an hour and 45 minutes transporting and crawling in traffic before arriving at my destination.

By 10:30 a.m. I was back at home, plugging away at work before I blinked and suddenly, it was 1:45 p.m. … time to suit-up for my oldest’s practice 5K with her Girls on the Run group. Since I am her buddy runner for the real 5K coming up on the 15th and I haven’t run a block since the last one in December, I thought I might see if my legs still work. Although I spent most of the time cheering the girls on and showering them with colored hair spray each time they completed three laps, I did squeak in three laps of own with my daughter at the end of her race. She told her friends she was training me for the big race!

From there it was on to a springtime celebration at my son’s school with a looming threat of rain that, thankfully, never fully materialized. We arrived a 4:30 p.m., a half hour earlier than expected so we had some welcome breathing room. After helping with set up, we enjoyed the light foods and festivities as I photographed the event on behalf of the school. Suddenly it was 6:45 p.m. and time to move on.

Although it was an hour passed our regular dinner time, since the kids had been munching on egg salad, hummus, bread and strawberries, I didn’t feel too guilty about stopping at McDonald’s on the way home for a few nuggets to “fill the crevice,” as my dad used to say. It had been a long day for all of us and it wasn’t over yet … we all deserved a little treat.

As we chugged through the line at the drive through, I phoned my husband with a quick status update. We were picking up food and heading home. But, since I needed to be at a Daisie meeting for daughter number 2 at 7:30 p.m., I would only have time to drop the kids off before heading back out. We did a run down of what needed to be done once we arrived. The kids needed to eat, do homework, take showers and get the hair spray paint out before heading down to bed. The would certainly not make their usual 7:30 bedtime, but when their heads did hit the pillow, I   they’d fall right to sleep.

I didn’t even get out of the car when we pulled in to the driveway. Dad came out and brought the kids and related gear in and I headed off to the Daisie meeting. While I expected the meeting to last about an hour, once we churned through the agenda, the conversation got juicy. And, although I felt time slipping away, I found myself compelled to stay. It’s not very often that I get to hang out with a group of women with no kids tugging, pleading, whining or shouting for attention. For the next two hours, we enjoyed real life adult conversation. More about that soon.

When I got into my car to leave, I was shocked to see that it was a little after 10:30 p.m.! I had survived one of “those” days. The kinds of days we all have, some more often than others. The days were we are pulled in so many different directions, spend hours in the car traveling to and fro and transporting various people along the way. Days when we go from one thing to the next and forget to eat because we haven’t been still long enough to realize we are even hungry.

It was such a sweet treat that my day ended in the company of fellow moms, several of whom probably had days just like mine.

How Momma Got Her Groove Back

January 3rd, 2011

Today is the first day back from winter break and I’m on fire (in a good way!). The kids had been out of school since December 22nd. The days and weeks leading up to that were filled with holiday activities and performances, so in some ways it felt as though the holidays lasted for much longer than they actually did.

I’m happy to say that I did a lot of things right this year, compared to years past. I can be a bit of a procrastinator on some things, which as we all know, can lead to lots of unnecessary stress, among other things.

This year, I put together a holiday shopping matrix in early November. I brainstormed gifts with hubby and kids and put together a gift list and budget that helped to keep things on track. It included everything from holiday outings to teacher gifts. It made every aspect of the holiday season more enjoyable. The extra preparation opened up more time in the weeks before the break to participate in activities at school and after school, something that had been a challenge at times in the past. There were fewer shopping trips and fewer spontaneous and last-minute purchases. Overall, I was left with more time and energy that I channeled into more meaningful things.

But, even with the extra preparation and the open time that it created, I found myself a bit out of sorts the past few days. Yesterday, while working side-by-side with my third grader who was finishing up a school project, I attempted to write several different pieces, purge email boxes, and tackle other things I wanted to get done. But, it just wasn’t happening. Folding laundry, on the other hand, was something I was able to conquer easily as I pondered what was amiss. It wasn’t until late in the afternoon, as we began to gear the kids up for going back to school today, that things really clicked.

I’m an introvert. A big introvert. And, as much as I love to spend time with my family, and as much as I looked forward to having them home for winter break, as much as I enjoyed the holidays, the outings and activities, I also was also missing something … my alone time. As a work-at-home mom, I’m accustomed to being the only one in the house for a chunk of the day. It’s time I need not only to work, but to have a bit of solitude as well. Not only did I miss that time, but I missed doing the activities that stimulate other parts of my brain, in addition to my heart.

Another big missing element was a regular routine. Gone were all of the usual cues to which the kids were accustomed for getting the day started, winding down at the end of the day, and everything else in between.  And, while I love and embrace opportunities to mix things up and to be spontaneous, especially during such a festive time of year, too long a stretch without consistency and structure can create a breeding ground for mischief. Over the years, I’ve really come to appreciate how valuable routines are in guiding behavior, managing expectations and demands, and in regulating the flow of the day.

So, today, as I celebrate the many success of the holiday season, I’ll also jot down a few notes on creative ways to incorporate comforting structure while also embracing opportunities for downtime and spontaneity as well, along with some alone time for me.

How about you? What were your successes this holiday season? What kinds of routines and structures helped you make the most of your winter break?

Carolyn
Work-Life Integration Coach & Consultant / Apply Within / @ApplyWithin
Chief Enterprising Mom / The Enterprising Moms / @EnterprisingMom

Me, A Feminist?

November 4th, 2010

Earlier this week, I had the honor of being a guest blogger for the American Association for University Women, an organization that’s ‘breaking barriers for women and girls.’ My topic – feminism and my own exploration of what it means to me. Inspired in part by my recent introduction to feminist icon Gloria Feldt and her new book, No Excuses: 9 Ways Women Can Change How We Think About Power. Take a look at my post, ‘Me, a Feminist?’ and share your own story …

Carolyn
Work-Life Integration Coach & Consultant / Apply Within / @ApplyWithin
Chief Enterprising Mom / The Enterprising Moms / @EnterprisingMom

Work-Life Balance: Flexible Work Options

March 15th, 2010

Work-Life Balance for Working Moms

Stories documenting the quest of working moms for that ever-elusive work-life balance are everywhere. Here’s one that caught my ear this morning as I …

  • dropped my son off at pre-school (after getting older siblings off to school on the bus)
  • dropped my husband off at work
  • stopped by the tire shop so that they could locate the wheel lock that they neglected to put back in my car after replacing my tires several months back
  • returned home and tidied the house before a home service call between 10am – 12 noon (at least it was only a two-hour window!)
  • eventually made my way into my workspace around 11am, where I listened to the full story as I got my work day going!

It’s because of days like today, though much simpler and less scheduled than a typical day for me, that flexibility in my work life is key and it’s why I chose to be an Enterprising Mom.

The story, on NPR’s Morning Edition, is the first in a three-part series entitled ‘More Employers Make Room For Work-Life Balance.’ The piece explores how one Northern Virginia company with 100 employees has incorporated flexible work options into it’s business structure and what makes it work. It also discusses how the 9-to-5 schedule isn’t conducive to today’s work environment or family systems. Of course, we’ve know that for quite some time!

Quite intriguing is how younger generations and those without young children are pushing for flex time as well. They want quality of life now and technology makes flexible work even more feasible today, especially for those who’ve been immersed in technology from the early years (and can’t figure out how to work without it!). Also intriguing, it’s anticipated that the push will increase from baby boomers, who will need to work longer, well into retirement years, and will want to both work less and have more flexibility when they do.

Of course, it doesn’t work for all jobs and industries, but the search continues for creative ways to improve the prospect of work-life balance, which I say, is more about work-life integration, but that’s another post.

Tomorrow on the NPR series … flexing in a government bureaucracy.

What say you?

  • Everyone’s promoting … are you seeing it?
  • How flexible is your work?
  • What does flexibility mean to you (working at home, flexible schedule, comp time)?

Up to 30″ of snow expected in …

February 5th, 2010

Up to 30″ of snow expected in DC area … Make the best of it … Great places for sledding: http://ow.ly/14thy

Snowed-In With Kids? Create an Idea Basket to Prevent Boredom

February 5th, 2010

bored-girl-xsmWe’ve been getting more snow than usual in the DC metro area (a little too reminiscent of my Boston days!). And while snow creates new opportunities for outdoor fun, there’s only so long one can stay outside before the wetness and cold seep in. After replacing soggy outerwear with comfy dry clothes and snowballs with hot chocolate, what are kids to do?

During that last big snow storm, when boredom set in, I gathered the kiddies for a little brainstorming session and we created an idea basket.

Huh? Well, we had to call it something, and that seemed to fit. Simply put, it’s a basket full of ideas and options … things to do when it seems like there’s absolutely nothing in the world of interest to do (and it’s a life-safer when you’re home-bound with the kids – for any reason!)

What You’ll Need

  • Index or note cards
  • Small envelopes
  • Pens, markers or crayons
  • Healthy dose of creativity

Getting Started

For me, there were two triggers:

  1. My seven year old declaring that there was absolutely nothing to do amidst a sea of options
  2. Discovering a plastic bin full of card and other small games that we’d completely forgotten

I mean, how could there be nothing to do with shelves and bins full of games, toys, activity kits, puzzles. But, to my daughter, except for a few choice things, they’d just become part of the furnishings.

So we came up with a creative way to find fun things to do on the fly … We wrote the name of each game on a card and stuck it in it’s own envelope, wrote the word ‘Games’ on each one and that got the basket started.

Then we started talking about random things we’d like to do … someday, like make hula skirts with newspaper, make sun catchers with the kit from last Christmas, create a time capsule, etc. (We keep a notebook in the kitchen to capture random ideas like this, so we pulled a bunch from there.) We put each of those ideas on a card and put each in it’s own envelope with the word ‘Activities’ on it.

We did the same for crafts: make bean bags, oobleck, play dough, crochet shoelaces, etc. Then we sorted the envelopes by category and put a clip around each category.

Now, when the kids are looking for something fun to do, we grab the idea basket. If they’re in the mood for crafts, we take the clip off the craft envelopes, spread them in the basket and then someone gets to pick an envelop. Same with games and activities.

The Payoff

The kids love the anticipation and the element of surprise. And, because they participated in the whole process, they get really excited about drawing an idea from the basket. The envelopes really add to the mystery and drama! Drawing from the basket also reduces spats around who gets to choose the game/activity/craft because selection is random. Now to decide who gets to draw the envelope …

Got a great tip for how to spend home-bound days? Please add yours in the comments section below.

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-01-31

January 31st, 2010
  • Moms stressed for time: Where's Dad's voice? A follow-up to the piece in last Sunday's WPost Mag: http://ow.ly/ZFDr #
  • NPR Kojo Nnamdi Show 1/27: Woman and Small Business (and the challenges we face). Listen now: http://ow.ly/11bvw #
  • RT @ChiefHotMomma: NEW: Prizes and Honors for HotMommasProject.org case writers. Contest thru midnight 1.31 ET. http://ad.vu/zz5v #

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